The weather is fighty, it changes a lot. It’s 11 o’clock in the morning, but I have to switch on my desk lamp. Just a minute ago, the sky was clear and full of sunshine. British summer is unimaginably short and stormy, compared to the summer in Shanghai, where I was born. There is just no way that I’m going back to Shanghai next year for my summer holiday. I mean, are you crazy? Summer and Shanghai means sticky hot all day long. If I go outside, (I have to since I’m on a holiday) I’ll be baked with the scorching sun. I am naturally a night-owl or a vampire-girl, so I hate sun. but if it’s just the sun, I suppose I’m all right with it, but summer in Shanghai means low air pressure, this also means high concentration of water vapours in the air since they can’t move higher into the atmosphere. So, sweat can’t evaporate therefore the body gets sticky hot and since there is not much water in the clouds, no rain. Now you see my point, I am so not going back to Shanghai in the summer, unless someone invented a pocket sized air conditioner. Or else it’s just plain torture for a girl like me.

I found my old pen yesterday and edited its pen point. Now it can let me write in prettier letters. I always wanted a pen like this since I’ve used Stephany’s pen once in a Biology lesson. It’s so beautiful. My mum told me how to edit it to make it write pretty letters, so I did, but only on my old pens. I’m a heavy writer and I put a lot of physical pressures onto my pens, so most of them got cracks on them. my mum said it’s because I play the piano, I naturally have a heavy hand. I kind of agree with her. So, because I loss my pens easily so I only buy cheap, plastic pens. Well, plastic pens break easily, so over the years, I’ve collected a lot of old pens, some cracked, some without lids, some have taps binding their necks. Now I am writing with my oldest pen. In fact, it’s my first ever pen. I’ve got this pen from my mother who has used it for her A-level exam. She got a C/B (I can’t remember which) in her A-level art exam. It’s pretty good since she never took any other art lessons and she hardly can write a single correct English sentence.

This year’s A-level results have got better again. about 94% pass-rate! Jesus, this is fat too high! I bet that if the government don’t start getting the exam questions harder, by the time I’m doing it the A-grade rate probably will be 90% or something. The A-level students said that it’s because they’ve worked hard therefore the pass-rate has gone higher (I agree with them to some extends. I do know the pain of revision). But I think it’s mainly because the exams are getting easier and because more people started to cheat. (You can buy the current exam papers on the internet for about £1000 each. I am being serious.) I mean, think like this. We don’t get brainier just over-the-night and there was a big crises on the getting enough cash for the education this year. Some schools can’t afford teachers with higher abilities. How many of the students can actually afford privet tutors or privet schools? They can’t just study 24/7! They do have a life outside classrooms! Besides I’ve took my Mandarin GCSE this year and I’ve bought old papers for revision. Man, they just get easier each year! And when I was doing the teats, the listening was so easy that even the Biology teacher who is sitting for my test (who knows nothing of Chinese) recognised the word Taiwan because it was spoken slowly like Taiiiiii-wannnn. So I bet this year’s A-level paper is even easier than last year’s. some of the pupils from my class probably want the exams to get easier each year. I don’t mind the GCSE getting easier, but please don’t make the A-levels easier. The top Universities e.g. Oxford and Cambridge have already announced that because so many of us are getting 3As (in fact it’s about 20%), they can’t chose who to take, so they might set up their own entrance exams. Oh my good god! After the long A-level exams, we probably are going to go through more exams. No thanks! Just keep the papers as they are! It doesn’t matter is less people are going to get As, Bs, and Cs. I don’t want to do more exams!

Of course my dream is getting into Oxford and study genetics. But if I can’t then I would like to be either a surgeon or a psychiatrist. I’m not good at extremely delicate hand-works, so dentistry is not for me. I don’t like being a psychologist since it’s a boring job but becoming a psychiatrist is my ultimate dream next to being a researcher of science, a sing-song writer, and an artist. Maybe if I can’t do any medical professions I might get in to a music school or an art college. I don’t know really. The future looks grim anyway. But I got to be strong and hang-on tight so the wave of depression won’t get me as I sail my ship towards success.

There are plenty of pressures on my back. Mostly from my parents who have spent their life-savings to give me a more-than-average education. Also there are some from the Shanghai-relatives. But I’m less worried about them since they are so far away and I’m not so close to them anyway. I doubt I’m going to be as stupid as my male-cousins. At least I’m more talented then them, and I have determination and the endurance of hardship. Truthfully, the greatest pressure is from myself. No one knows but I actually weight my goals heavily. I know what’s bad and what’s good. I also want to achieve what I’ve set out for. So if I’m not going to get any of my dreams done then I’m as good as dead. But I’m not like those suicidal idiots. I’m not afraid of death, even if it’s the end of the world, I’m not afraid. So what? Everyone dies, I’m not a exception. Life after death could be amazing. How do you know if it’s not?

My ultimate ambition is to become a researcher in the genetic field. It’s a dream that I’ve had since I read Yami no Matsuei. Wouldn’t it be great if I can find the gene that can unlock the secret of the human’s ultimate endurance? Just think of it, a re-generable body and you don’t need to breath, eat, drink, and sleep to survive for years! That’s a miracle, but not impossibility. I just know that it is possible because already scientists have found genes that can lock the development of cancer cells. There are just got to be a gene or genes that can make my dream come true. This might sound mad but I’m doing this for the future of mankind. There is got to be a time when the Earth no longer can support us. 50 billion years later (I think), which is not a long time if you think how long life can live on and that the Sun already live 50 billion years, our Sun will expand into a red giant because of its gravity can no longer hold its mass. It will devour Earth. Everything’s got to be destroyed. Humans, if still alive got to move to elsewhere. But is the new place just like Earth? The possibility is very, very low. No, the condition is got to be different, so to endure them humans got to evolve in order to survive and adapt the surrounding environment. That’s why I want to find the gene to unlock the secret so humans can live anywhere, like the bacteria (it’s true, they are they have the most endurance to extreme conditions of all living things on Earth).

My hand hurts from writing so much in such a short space of time. This major piece of writing is got to stop. Bye, bye everyone who has read my ramblings. Follow your dreams!